Robots Do Cry
(DCFC - What Sarah Said)

Love is watching someone die...



G-ma, you were an inspiration to us all and not a day goes by that I won't regret spending more time with you. Arya was very lucky to have met you and I'm glad she was able to bring a smile to your face. You've spent your entire life taking care of us and I hope you can now have the rest that you've always deserved.

All The Times You Screwed Me Over
(Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (Walk Off The Earth Cover))

I'm still alive. One day I will get back to this.

Great Canadian band out of Burlington. Check them out. You won't regret it.

My Little Ninja
(Coldplay - Yellow)

On August 29th, 2011 at 7:01 am a little ninja named Arya Paige Le was born.

It's amazing how something so small can change the entire meaning of your life.

Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you.

Unexpectations
(New Heights - Peaches)



Great video to raise the awareness for the deaf. Also a great video to remind us that there is still a lot of humanity in this crazy world. Finding humanity sometimes comes as a great surprise to me. It's an even greater surprise when I find it in myself ;)

When was the last time you found a little unexpected humanity?

This Will Be Legen...wait for it...dary.
(Keane - Everybody's Changing)

When you're younger, you always have these grand ideas of how your life would turn out. Things like your career; when you'd get married; how big your house would be; how many kids you'd have; and what age you'd have them.

And it's a recurring theme in my blog, whether explicit or implicit -- the path you take is never the straight and shortest path. The path is a winding one. One that curves around the everyday obstacles in your life. And occasionally along that path you may stub your toe on some poorly paved intentions but knowing that your journey holds some exciting stories to tell your children one day, makes it all worth while.

And in the latest part of my journey, I have found out that I will have someone to tell my exciting stories to come late July/early August. Yes, I will be a father. It's something I always knew I wanted to do. When I was younger, it was something I thought would happen sooner rather than later but you can't always time these things.

So the preparation has started for the arrival of said unnamed baby. I bought a new car a couple of weeks ago which is a larger vehicle than my last car. I managed to convince Sonia to let me purchase a vehicle that's both sporty and fun to drive and still has the features that a family would look for. It's my last bit of splurging before I have to compete with the child to see who gets their toys first. As most fathers will testify, that's not a winning battle.

The baby's room will start taking shape in the next couple of months as I do some spring cleaning on our 2nd bedroom, repaint it and furnish it with the typical things a baby room should have.

There are so many things that need to happen between now and then. It's a bit overwhelming. And though I may joke to my friends with the occasional "It's too late for me, save yourselves!", it's all very surreal if not mind-blowing amazing.

For me mind-blowing excitement is something I've never really been able to grasp. My moods and excitement levels have always been on a more conservative scale than the average person. Here's where my friends would say, "That's because you're a robot." I know Sonia and a few friends are hoping that when this baby is born, that the robot in me will leak some oil in the tear duct area. I can't guarantee that but I can guarantee that I will cherish every day that this baby is in my life.

Just Let Yourself Fall Into Landslide
(Crystal Castles - Not In Love fet. Robert Smith)



One incredible remake of a classic Platinum Blonde song from the 80's. This is arguably better than the original when you factor in the great vocals by legendary Robert Smith.

It's been a very busy two months. As my life starts picking up some steam, I'm finding myself less and less able to find the time to update this blog. And it's not without desire because I find blogging as one of the greatest cathartic mediums. Especially for someone like myself who never grew up with much of an emotional outlet. Even robots need to flush their engines every now and then.

As proof of my desire to keep my writing alive, I submit the following evidence to the court. I recently bought an Amazon Kindle to kick-start an old hobby of mine. Yes I do read! I find there's no bigger inspiration to writing than reading. I'm currently reading Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. If anyone's read this, I'd love to hear your opinion.

I'm currently in Tampa Bay for a couple of days for work but I promise, I'll have an update for you guys within the next week.

To be continued...

Happy New Year
(Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home)

First post of 2011. Happy New Year!

Let's start off with some good news. I'm getting promoted to project manager at my company. It's not exactly VP of Add More Awesome but it's something. If I did however get promoted to VP of AMA, I'd definitely add this video to our company website.



You'll often hear me say in reference to being around kids, "This is my nightmare." This kid is one of the few exceptions. Phenomenal.

Starting this year off right by going to visit my grandma who I haven't seen in over a year. Just bought a ticket to DC on points to go visit in February and saw this on my bill.

Fuel Surcharge $54.00
Canada Goods And Service Tax $4.06
NAV Canada - Air Navigation Services $15.00
U.S Agriculture Fee $5.00
U.S Immigration User Fee $7.00
Canada Domestic/International Airport Improvement Fee $25.00
Canada Harmonized Sales Tax $3.25
U.S. International Transportation Tax $32.40
Canada Domestic/International Air Travel Security Charge $12.10
U.S. Passenger Safety Fee $2.50
U.S Passenger Facility Charge $4.50
Total airport taxes, fees and surcharges per passenger $164.81

So if any of you were wondering why the airline industry was suffering so bad, here's proof in the pudding that they need to fire their VP of Add More Suck and hire a VP of AMA. I mean I realize that you have to pay taxes and fees to keep the airlines running but this is a bit ridiculous.

In other news, lately I've noticed from my blog traffic summaries, that my readership has tripled. It's gone from around 3-4 page views per day to around 11. It's not much but I'll take whatever I can get. It could also be simply spam bots but judging from the average length of time that is spent per visit, which is around 2 minutes, it's not just the tip but a bona fide quicky these readers are having on my page! And I thank you anonymous readers because without you, this would be the blog equivalent of masturbation. I hope one day we can upgrade from these quickies to a real relationship.

Lastly an update on my fashion-stealing coworker. Apparently stealing my cardigan outfit wasn't enough. He showed up to work this week wearing the cardigan outfit and rocking a pair of converses. I was so tempted to tell him that his outfit was so "Khiem 2010". Before any of you start calling me a hipster, I will note that my jeans have never been tight (excluding the day after thanksgiving) nor have I wore ironic glasses and downloaded an app on an iphone.

Fashion Lessons From the Unfashionable - My Cardigan Story
(Weezer - The Sweater Song)

So I'm not going to lie and tell you that I brought the cardigan back in style. In fact it's been in style for a couple of years now. I will tell you that I bought a cardigan about a year ago and got a ton of grief from my friends for wearing it. Apparently, it was a drastic change in my wardrobe from my classic jeans and rock band t-shirt look. My fashion sense has changed over the last few years as I've matured and my career has progressed. Only natural.

So the story goes -- I bought a gray cardigan about a year ago while in Hong Kong on a work trip. I thought the look was smart but still fun. I wore the gray cardigan occasionally at work and occasionally when I went out at night. You can wear it with a white t-shirt for a casual relaxed look or you can wear it with a tucked in dress shirt with a tie for a more formal look. It's a very versatile piece of clothing.

Then about a month ago, my coworker who sits in the cubicle right beside me decides to change his wardrobe. Let's call him "Tim". He said he needed a change. He wanted to dress more mature at work. So he goes out and buys a bunch of cardigans, dress shirts, dress pants and ties. He proceeds to wear this outfit everyday of the work week. For awhile it was the story of the office. People would ask me, "What's up with Tim and his new cardigan outfits?" Each day he had a different coloured cardigan to go with a different dress shirt or tie.

At first I didn't realize how this would impact me. Then came the day that I wore my cardigan to work. Every other person I spoke with said, "You look like so-and-so today." or "Are you trying to copy Tim?" So here I am with probably the biggest dilemma I've had at work since that time I couldn't decide between a burrito and a big mac for lunch. How do I wear my cardigan again without getting ridiculed and compared to a guy who was 2 years late into the cardigan game?!?

So I schemed and thought hard for a couple of days. The strategy I came up with was simple. I was exaggerating when I said he wore a cardigan everyday of the week. He probably wore a cardigan about 3-4 times a week. However he rarely wore it more than 3 days in a row. So I mapped out his cardigan wearing patterns. And on one fateful Thursday in December, I decided to make my move. It also coincided with the company Christmas party. I wore my gray cardigan with the new festive red tie I had bought while in Seoul, Korea for work. It was time for my cardigan to make it's return!

As I strolled into work, feeling great about this fantastic festive outfit I had put together, I walked by Tim's desk. BLUE CARDIGAN!! WITH A TIE!! 4 DAYS IN A ROW!! So for the rest of the day I had to endure the "Hey where's your twin?" and "You're ripping off Tim's style." comments. Amplified by the social atmosphere at our company xmas party, it was my version of a Nightmare Before Christmas.


(You could say I was "Schuestered".)

And I can sit here and argue back and forth about how I wore the cardigan well before Tim ever sported one but I have no one to blame but myself. I made some key miscalculations in my plan.

1) I miscalculated the risk of wearing the same outfit at a social event as my coworker. It doesn't matter if the chance of Tim wearing the outfit was 50% or 5%. The fact is, if it does happen, it's the equivalent to social suicide. Every woman will tell you this.

2) It doesn't matter who wears the outfit first, it matters only who "OWNS" the outfit. That doesn't mean who looks better in the outfit, because we all know I look better in the outfit. It just means who wears it the MOST. I was never going to "OWN" this outfit, it was merely a compliment to my wardrobe -- not the defining piece.

So I've officially retired this cardigan from my work wardrobe and any events where said coworker would be attending. It is simply not worth the ridicule I faced that day. Just to let you know though, I just started wearing split toe brown dress shoes with some of my work clothes. If Tim shows up to next year's xmas party sporting these, someone better be telling him he's ripping off Khiem's styles.

P.S. The new style of wearing mismatched patterns in an outfit (e.g. plaid shirt with striped tie) was patented by me back when it was a fashion faux pas. You could say I'm years ahead of my time or a fashion pioneer - but I know you won't.

A Le Dong Christmas
(Wham - Last Christmas)

Christmas is here and you can’t help but enjoy the spirit of the holidays. And when I say spirit, I’m not talking about people rushing around buying gifts for others. While it’s a nice gesture, gift buying these days is more of a routine and obligation than it is about sharing with those who have less than us. It goes without saying that we should be giving to those less fortunate but this post isn’t about being a humanitarian or a philanthropist. It’s about enjoying the season and being thankful for what you’ve got.

I love Christmas because it’s the anticipation of seeing family and friends. It’s people going out of their way to decorate their houses and trees for others to enjoy. It’s the look on a child’s face as they see their first Christmas tree. Even in a family like mine where we didn’t grow up with the luxury of spending hundreds of dollars on a Christmas tree and ornaments, seeing the Christmas tree always brought a smile to our faces.

Fact be told our Christmas tree was probably the ugliest tree on the block. It made the Charlie Brown Christmas tree look good. For starters, we didn’t have a lot of ornaments. The ornaments we did have, didn’t match. The tree itself was probably the cheapest fake tree you could buy. I remember one year in an attempt to fill the tree up, we placed all the Christmas cards we got in the mail from family and friends on the tree. Another year we filled the tree with all of our old used toys. The tree was filled with old WWF figurines, GI Joe’s, Barbie accessories and a giant yellow popple (an 80’s furry toy). I believe that was our favourite Christmas tree of all time. I’ve tried to reconstruct what our tree would look like today.



Our gifts were always a mixed bag of WTF and FML with the occasional epic gift. My favourite WTF gifts – underwear, socks, Tiffany’s CD (I might have actually liked this) and the ever popular giant Toblerone. You have to remember, being a kid, wearing underwear was not one of my primary concerns. It still isn’t actually. The FML gifts were the ones my relatives gave to me that I had to wear to school that looked ridiculous. This included a teal coloured sweater with giant polar bears on it, a full body black snowsuit, a jean outfit that included acid washed jeans and matching vest, topped off with cowboy boots. Of course you can almost forget and forgive those presents when you get your favourite Transformer, GI Joe and a red bmx bike. In retrospect having more shitty gifts always keeps you humble and more appreciative of the few great gifts in your life.

There were always those great treks to see relatives. Driving 10 hrs down to Washington DC to visit my aunts, uncles and grandparents. During those trips we would be huddled in the backseat with blankets as my dad rolled down the window every 15 minutes to smoke. You see, he wasn’t allowed to smoke with the window because 2nd hand smoke kills. However, -20 C winds blowing through the car was a mere nuisance easily cured by jackets and blankets. And since this was pre-GPS, my parents were always good for at least one argument after we got lost b/c my mom would fall asleep in the passenger seat (a family skill passed on from generation to generation) and my dad would continue to drive straight until someone told him to turn. All was well though when we arrived to a large family gathering with our grandparents happy to see us. Of course there were always tears of sadness from my grandparents as we left to go back to Toronto.

Now as we grow older, we still do the family gatherings but we don’t make those long treks anymore. At least not as frequently. Most of our holidays are spent locally with the immediate family. And our family Christmas tree doesn’t always make an appearance anymore. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was all of those years of us kids making fun and being ashamed of it. Maybe it’s because now that the kids have grown up and left the house, my parents have no one to decorate the tree for.

So this year I’m having the family over at my house for Christmas dinner for the very first time. It will coincide with relatives coming into town for my baby sister’s engagement party. It will be another large gathering and reunion. This year more than any year, I’m looking forward to buying and decorating my own tree for my parents and our relatives.

Happy holidays everyone.

Tokyo Drift
(Stars - Wasted Daylight)



(In the way your hand hits the wave
In between the dreamer and the breath
Long beside the bitter of the skin
Today won't know when to begin)

About 10 yrs ago, I was suppose to move to Japan to teach English. At the time, everything in my life was very uncertain. I had just graduated from university and I wasn't sure as to what my next steps in life were. My parents had hoped I would go to medical school but I couldn't live up to their expectations. I was also in a relationship with a girl from Texas that I didn't know was going anywhere. It was a struggle daily to figure out how we would bridge that distance between us. It seemed like the wrong time for me to just get up and go wander the world, make the distance between us larger. I convinced myself that I needed to sort out my life, understand where it was headed before I could go on an adventure. It was my responsibility. It was also an excuse for me to avoid my fear of uncertainty.

So I turned down the offer and stayed in Toronto. I found work at an electronics manufacturing company. It wasn't related to my degree but it would help me get started in paying off my student loans. Ironically, it paid half as much as I would've got paid in Japan. The long distance relationship didn't improve. I didn't have any experience that an employer would want to go through the trouble of arranging a visa for me to work there. So I spent a year trying to sort things out but got absolutely nowhere.

The following year I decided to throw caution to the wind and re-apply for that job. I got an interview with the same company. In the interview, they asked me why I turned down the job the previous year. I told them I wasn't ready at the time to make that leap of faith. I waited anxiously for them to call me back. They called me back a week later to let me know that I did not get the job. They felt like I couldn't commit to it. And there you had it -- an opportunity that stared me in the face and I let it slip by.

As the years went by, my friends and family all had the opportunity to go to Japan. Each and every time, they'd come back with stories of how wonderful it is there. The adventures they had. The great culture they soaked in. Each time it was just more salt in the wound for me.

So here I am sitting in my hotel room in Seoul. Trying to collect my thoughts about the weekend I just had in Tokyo. I took a day off from work on this 2 week business trip and decided to fly to Japan to finally see what I had missed out on all these years. After watching inception on the plane ride to Seoul last week, I had hoped that Tokyo wouldn't be as overrated and overhyped as that movie was for me. You have to remember that Tokyo had been hyped up in my mind for the past 10 years. If it didn't live up to my expectations, I would've been devastated.

And there were many hurdles in getting to Tokyo once again. This time I couldn't find a cheap direct flight there from Seoul. The flights using my air miles were only first class and only left early on Friday morning. I had hoped to not miss too much work and fly out Friday evening. I finally told myself, "Who knows when you'll have this opportunity again. Missing one day of work will not make or break the project." I booked that flight. I had a wonderful time. Tokyo was more than I had ever thought it would be. Extremely clean, wonderfully built and so immersed in history and culture. Not to mention the great food and great company I had with a few friends who were there as well.

Now I'm back to reality getting prepared for work tomorrow. I've got one more week in Seoul and then it's back to Toronto for the next little while. It doesn't seem like I've missed a step even though I took time off for myself. And that's what I need to keep telling myself. That taking time off doesn't mean I'm going to derail my career or my life. I just need to step back sometimes and regain my balance before getting back on this high speed train that is my life.

That's what I will tell my grandchildren one day. Don't worry about the uncertainty. Life will not leave you behind. Don't regret missing out on your Tokyo.

Hello From Narita
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)



Did a crazy wicked rendition of this song at karaoke last week. Channeling the anger and passion of Marshall Mathers. It was nice to get some anger out. I guess maybe I'm angry at overworking myself and just tiring myself out when I should be enjoying life. It's been 5/6 weeks on the road now. I'm back to Toronto for 2 weeks and then I head out for another 2 weeks to Korea. I missed basically half of my summer. I know I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes I don't know how to say no to people and sometimes I just like to be a workaholic. That's why this song is so perfect. I know sometimes I torture myself.

On a lighter note, here's a funny story. I'm sitting in Narita airport right now on a 9 hr layover from Kuala Lumpur. Just woke up from a nice 3 hour nap in a private sleeping area where they have lounge chairs with foot stools so you can put your legs up. The nap felt pretty damn good but after I woke up I discovered that the chair I was sitting in actually pulled completely out into a bed position. Of course I'm wide awake now. FML.

Oh...I bought a ninja outfit in one of the souvenir shops here. Will go great with my sword and throwing stars at home. Parents never allowed me to have a ninja costume when I was younger. Never too late to be a kid again. I should wear it the next time I go visit my parents just to spite them. Yeah that's right, your 34 year old son bought his own ninja suit...how do you like them apples?

Does anyone take a lot of enjoyment out of being able to bypass lines at the airport with their Elite airline status? I mean I have an unhealthy enjoyment out of essentially budding in line and then looking back at the 30-40 person deep line and chuckling under my breath. Sorry losers, I've been in transit for 31 hrs so you can suck it! Wait, I've been in transit for 31 hrs, I'm probably the loser here. At least I have status bitches!

Wow...this was an unnecessarily angry post. I'm sure I will be happier when I arrive back in TO.

I think someone once said, "You only have one life, but if you do it right, one is enough." I'm not doing it right, right now. I need better work/life balance. It's a continuing work in progress for me.

One comes by the sea; one comes by the land and no one lives to tell the tale.
(Sigur Ros - Glosoli)

149, 150, 151, 152...oh Hi. I didn't see you there. I was just doing some pushups.

So my stay here in Kuala Lumpur is winding down. I've been here 5 of the last 6 weeks. Some highlights of my trip?

- Finding out from my life insurance company that my quote went from $28/month to $186/month after they found out I've been travelling here for work the past couple of months.
- Eating a rubbery piece of freshly shucked oyster at an all-you-can-eat karaoke bar and not getting sick.
- Watching a coworker sing and dance to Kesha's tik tok (that nearly made me sick).
- Realizing I had only packed enough underwear to last me til the 2nd last day before I leave for home. It's ok though, I can just turn my last pair inside out.
- Total days missed because of weekend travel, missing Canadian holidays and/or working weekends = 10, FML.
- Diarrhea from something I had eaten...twice.
- Total number of fake watches asked by friends/family/coworkers to bring back = 9.
- Haven't had a haircut in about 5 weeks so my hair is in the "too long to gel, too short to put in a ponytail" stage.
- Saw a monkey on the street begging for food.

So looking forward to being back in Toronto for a couple of weeks. I really miss my bbq. And maybe my wife. ;) Looking forward to playing bball and vball. Lots of home stuff to take care of when I get back...ughh.

Oh...and at the beginning of October I have a date with destiny. Her name is Korea. Haven't been there before. Probably would enjoy it if it weren't for work and if it weren't on the back end of a 5 week trip to Kuala Lumpur. Le sigh.

Anyone know Hyori Lee's or Yuna Kim's address?

Ok...gotta go...

You hang up! No, YOU hang up! Ok, on the count of 3, we both hang up together.
1-2-3. I knew you wouldn't hang up!

Hello From KL
(Michael Buble - Home)

Home in 2 weeks but then the week after that off to Seoul, South Korea for 2 weeks.

By the end of that trip I will have travelled 7 of the past 9 weeks.

It's lonely. Work is stressful. I miss home. Where is my salvation?

My Childhood Home
(Arcade Fire - The Wilderness Downtown)

Back in TO
(Eminem - Love The Way You Lie)

4:30 am back in TO. Jet lag in full effect right now and I'm watching some youtube videos to pass the time. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to do this. Travelling back and forth between continents for work. If I hear another person say, "you're so lucky to get to travel to exotic places for work!" I'll punch them in the mouth. I know I always have the choice to quit but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. People tend to set a standard for themselves and then they're unwilling to fall back from that standard. You never want to take a step back in anything you're doing. You're either in it to win it, or you fall to the back of the pack. That's the way I feel about my career. It's not that want or need to make more money. It's that I don't want to fall back to where I started. Seeing my friends all graduate and head off to work, while I struggled to find a job was one of the worst times in my life. It's probably this fear of going back there that keeps me going. I hope one day I can overcome that fear and walk away happy with what I've done in my life.

More Tidbits from KL
(The Egg - Wall)



In Kuala Lumpur, if I want to buy a shirt that looks like it's been painted on my body, I buy a medium. If I want to buy a slim fit shirt that helps me do a standout robot impression, I get a large.

If I want to buy a regular fitting shirt, I need to go to a "western" store where I would buy a medium.

I feel like a fat westerner here. Which makes me want to get some exercise and lose some weight.

However, no one jogs in Kuala Lumpur. In fact I've been told no one but westerners jog in all of Asia. What is it about Asia that deters jogging? Are people less concerned about physical health/appearance here? Are the streets and sidewalks less safe for joggers? The sidewalks are definitely narrower and more congested. The cars on the street definitely do not give right of way to pedestrians. It's also 40 C here everyday. The gods are definitely conspiring against me getting back in shape.

...

I have a "special" coworker that ranks probably a 15/10 on the scale for unintentional comedy. We attended an awards show for our client's sales force this past weekend. Upon arriving in the grand ballroom that seated over 2000 sales reps I noted how there were bags of balloons in the rafters. I then commented about what time those balloons would be raining down on people. Her comment was this...

"Balloons don't fall down, they go up."

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Here are some famous sayings from her in last 2 trips we've made to KL.

"You should try to see things from a different ankle."

"A hole is a hole, it doesn't matter which one." (while playing pool)

"Maybe I'm just acting dumb."

...

Today a random stranger stopped me in the street and passionately said to me, "you know, you are a very lucky man but you think too much."

Prophecy or just a random crazy stranger? Makes me wonder. My mom also had my fortune told recently on a trip back to Vietnam. She said that the fortune teller told her that I would be very lucky and prosperous in my 30's but there's a risk that I would lose it all in my 40's.

Now I'm not one for destiny and such, as I find destiny just makes people lazy as they wait for their own fate rather than work towards their goals/dreams; however, it still makes me nervous.

...

Late next month, I may be blogging tidbits from Korea while I hunt down Hyori Lee and Yuna Kim.

Tidbits from KL
(Arrested Development - Mr. Wendal)

This week's theme is GHETTO and I AM OLD. You know what I mean? Holla at yo boy! I've always wanted to say that. I've also wanted to spill a 40 for all the boys I've lost in the hood. To date that number would be zero. Hurry up and die already fools! Sorry, that got dark. I got nothin but mad loves for my peeps!

So I'm in the hood this week. Yup, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Managing my first project. Exciting times I tell you. The only difference I've noticed so far is that I get to boss more people around than I normally do. High five for being bossy. *smack* For realz tho, it's nice to be able to delegate work instead of having work delegated to you. Though I will tell you this, there is legitimately a lot of things to do as a PM. There's a lot more responsibility involved in managing a project than I would've given any PM credit for in the past. It's funny how you actually appreciate what another human being goes through when you walk a mile in their shoes. You so crazy ninja!

Ran into some body/hygiene issues today...

1) I noticed some wrinkles that weren't there before on my forehead this morning. What the hell?? Damn you old age! So I bought a big quicksilver sun hat at lunch to hide it. Problem solved.

2) I also noticed one long nose hair growing out of my right nostril. Unfortunately I left my nose hair trimmers at home and could only find a pair of tweezers in my travel pack. I had to make the tough decision between waiting til I could find a safe pair of scissors or go through the excruciating pain of plucking the offending hair out. Cuz seriously, there's nothing more distracting than when you're talking to someone and their nose hair is waving at you.

3) While plucking the long nose hair out, I noticed a white nose hair. What the hell! Damn you old father time!! I didn't pluck this one out. I'm still waiting to get over the pain of the first pluck. Plus this one isn't waving at anyone.

So about to get ready to go have some dinner with the project team and then we're headed to the sky lounge to have some drinks and get krunked. It's been a long week and I think I deserve it.

Another week before I head back to TO. Can't wait. I miss you crazy cats.

We've Only Just Begun
(PSB - Being Boring)

She was never bored because she was never boring.

One of my favourite pet shop boys songs is about the ideals that you have when you're younger and how they turn out as you grow older. Kind of interesting to think back to that age and what you thought the world would be when you grew older. How completely naive we were and yet how completely convinced we were that we had a solid grasp of the differences between right and wrong. And then comparing it to what we believe today. For me it's night and day.

Just for a good laugh, I'll tell you this -- at around age 12, I thought I'd wait til I found the right girl and was married before I had sex. By age 16 I had revised this belief to waiting til I was 18, the legal age of sexual consent. I might have made that up. By age 17 I thought, what the heck, I don't have to wait. It was ok because I had met my one true love and would marry her one day. And by age 19 I thought she was a lying, cheating, fat whore. That just got awkward. Some people call me a cautionary tale. :P

So what does it say if the difference in our beliefs is radically different today than what it was back then? Have we grown and matured along with some of our ideals? Have we revised our beliefs to justify our actions? Or have we become jaded and lost hope in those pipe dreams? They're probably all correct for different people or even different points in a person's life. I just find it interesting to chart the natural path of our beliefs and ideals.

Before I get too serious, I'll tell you this. Even though I feel as though I've grown immensely as a person over the years, I really miss being a kid. Kids are highly impressionable which I think is completely to their benefit. Being impressionable means you can easily find inspiration. Being inspired is the first step to finding your passion.

Growing Pains
(Florence + The Machine - Addicted to Love)

I know I haven't written in awhile but such is the pace of life these days that I really do not have time to sit and reflect much. There's always something to do now that I have a full-fledged career, got married and . I also need to support all the new adult debt I've acquired in the past couple of years. I thought owning a condo was a big step and tons of responsibility. I've entered the next phase with this house and it seems as though there isn't enough I can do to catch up.

And it would almost seem as though there's some negativity in my voice but there are definitely positives to all of this. As painful as the work and effort put into growing up, the reward is what keeps us all going isn't it? I mean we all do this to realize the dream of one day having a family and owning a house where we can watch our kids grow up, don't we?

Which gets me to what I've been thinking about lately...

It seems as though the older I get, the more accelerated my growth and maturity occur. I remember trying to understand myself and struggling with figuring out who I was and how I was going to accomplish things in life. Wishing I could just solve the puzzle and get to the finish line sooner. I didn't really appreciate the process as much.

These days, things are happening at such a fast pace that I am a bit scared that life is simply going to pass me by. How do I slow down the pace and simply enjoy the adventure more? Am I destined to simply spend all my hours working and supporting the family and renovating/maintaining the house? I keep joking with my friends telling them that "This is my nightmare!", but the reality is that it's part of the dream I've always wanted for myself only now that I've arrived, it's overwhelming.

I'm hoping and I suspect that I am right that the pace of life is like a bell curve. You spend your early years really struggling to find yourself and equip yourself with the best tools to succeed in life. It's a slow process. Then as you hit your 30's, you know your goals and your dreams are no longer the pipe type and you're well equipped to fulfill them. Fast forward to your mid to late 30's and now you've hit the ground running and before you know it, you've got a family, a full-fledged career and you spend your weekends fixing things around the house and making sure the kids are well-adapted for the same journey you took. By the time you hit your 50's your kids are (hopefully) no longer as dependent on you and are making good decisions based on their wonderful upbringing. Now is when things slow down for you and you sit back and enjoy watching your kids face the same challenges. Your career is no longer going up but rather holding steady until you're ready to retire.

This is when I hope to sit back and fondly reminisce and reflect upon the sometimes slow, sometimes fast-paced rollercoaster ride that was/is my life.

Back in Black
(Sigur Ros - Hoppipolla)

So I'm back...it's been awhile but things got busy. Busy but still fun. That's the key to keeping a nice steady and balanced life. You can work as hard as you want as long as you keep it fun and interesting. Here's a good example. We have a group chat at work that allows us to ask our coworkers work-related questions. Here's a conversation we had the other day.

[Kynan] Is there a way to reset the admin password outside of the admin client?

[Zak] arg ..
[Zak] don't ask these questions ..
[Kynan] eg. the admin forgets
[Kynan] it's your man Woody
[Zak] log in as scheduler
[Kynan] he wants to write up a stored procedure to reset the password in case of problems like that
[Zak] change it
[Zak] we won't support that shit
[Kynan] I told him
[Zak] you know the answer ..
[Zak] :P
[Kynan] Hey Woody,

So, while your script may probably work, Varicent does not support or condone any manipulation of the model database outside of using the Varicent Admin client frontend.

Historically, I have found that if the model appears to have been tampered with, our Support group may classify problems as ‘customer created’, which can cause issues and delays.
I wouldn’t recommend using a script or stored procedure like this for that reason.

Khiem: you type quick

varicent: [jameslane1] Speedy

Khiem: gonzalez

varicent: [Zak] that's what she said

Khiem: she's just a smalltown girl

varicent: [Kynan] living in a lonely woooorld
[Zak] she took the mid night train
[Zak] going anywhere
[Kynan] he was a city boy
[Zak] born and raised in south Detroit

Khiem: I started the lyrics to don't stop believing on a chat
my life is complete

varicent: [Zak] fuck Khiem
[jameslane1] Ha

Khiem: tell Woody if he messes with the backend he's gonna be a smalltown girl living in a lonely world b/c support isn't going to help him

varicent: [Zak] LOL


Ok lots to update but not so much time to organize my thoughts. So I'm gonna just spout the first things that come to mind.

Sonia and I just bought a house. It's ridonkulously expensive but it's in the same neighbourhood we've lived in the last 3 years and it's also on the subway line, which is important. Our house is a bungalow with a finished basement and 2 elevators. That's right, 2 elevators. It was owned previously by a couple that was handicapped so they installed two elevators to go from the basement to the main floor. Now I'm looking for a little man in a suit to operate the elevator when we move in.

The week after we bought our house, we sold our condo. It sold on the first day it showed and we got very close to what we had asked for which was nice. Special thanks to our real estate broker Jojo and our friendly staging pro Anna.

I went to a work conference two weeks ago in Phoenix, AZ where I did a presentation in front of 70+ people. First time, and surprisingly I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be. I guess practicing my presentation countless times and being prepared actually helped. Go figure. I remember being deathly afraid of public speaking in high school but I think I've made strides over the last 5 years. Which goes to show you, there isn't a crutch you can't overcome. Whether that's building an elevator because you are in a wheelchair or whether that's developing a skill you never thought you had. I don't know if that last statement was awful or motivational. #youdecide

Also managed to win about $1000 at the poker tables on the last night there. The $1000 will be going towards my new bbq for the new house. Can't wait to furnish my favourite part of the house! While Sonia is preparing her grand plans for renovating the kitchen, I'm preparing my plans for my dream patio. It involves a Weber bbq, patio lanterns, an above ground fireplace and a nice patio furniture set. T-29 days before we move in. Can't wait!